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You can celebrate because all kinds of things are involved with your life; therefore, it is a source of celebration. There is contrast—this and that, that and this—and things can't be sorted out properly and put into proper perspective. So let it be that way! That seems to be the source of celebration, in fact!
*Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche. "Self-Existing Grin." In Glimpses of Realization: The Three Bodies of Enlightenment.
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Part of suffering is our striving for life to be neat and understandable, and fair. We assume in chaos that life is unfair or we are not being persons of faith. If our lives are still lived with confusion, doubt, and weaknesses, we look around and assume others are lucky and we are not, or they are blessed and we are not. We imagine that persons with an easier life are better off than we are. We bemoan our fate. If we live in chaos, we refuse to be grateful for our present life, and we push for some imagined better one. We have an image of being spiritual that is so free of disorder that it is sterile. We seek an easy religion or spirituality, and we quit when it demands of us a clear looking into the fact that, after all, our lives are not easier for all our spiritual effort. Ultimately, some just blame God, thinking God is like a kind "dada" who is present to solve our problems.
One of the two Teachers and writers who have most influenced my Practice and Teaching is Chögyam Trungpa. One of his books is Orderly Chaos. So, what is Orderly Chaos? I will give the meaning I apply to that concept.
First, chaos is a precondition for order. This is exemplified in the classical Greek world. The god Chaos (gaping void) was the foundation of all creation. Out of this god arose Gaea (earth), Tartarus (underworld), and Eros (love). Chaos created night, and the first born of Gaea was Uranus (god of the heavens). So, see, all things, including the heavens, begin in chaos. This is the same as seen in the Creation story in Genesis 1.1ff.
There is a chaos having an order, a Purpose that unfolds by destiny, not fate. Orderly chaos, then, is a component of Divine Providence.
We create orderly chaos. If you are deeply devoted to a spiritual Path, orderly chaos will arise from that. Just to sit in mediation is to invite orderly chaos.
If you do not want this, get off the Path, quit the Practice. If you want an easier life, then, by all means seek shelter in the masses, either delving into secularism or facile religiosity. But, if you want to grow and learn to live a Self-realizing life, then, welcome to the challenges, irritations, and confusions, as well truth, wonder, and bliss of spiritual unfolding.
Resistance to orderly chaos is a reason much religion is pretty shallow, little more than social club and scratch my back and I will scratch your back stuff. That is a place to begin, but it is a sad place to remain. That is little more than an adult who lives and dies still in a baby pen and refuses to get out, or an adult who still wants to be nursed at "mommy's" breast.
Orderly chaos is chaos that has an inherent structure to it. In orderly chaos, over time, you can reflect and see a pattern. This is like chaotic nonchaos. After you practice meditation over time, you see this pattern. When you get a close up view, the different strands look out of sync. But, then, you get distance, and there is a pattern of Meaning and Purpose. If you forget the pattern, you can get lost in the chaos, and this can lead to discouragement and giving up.
Who creates this orderly disorder? You might say, "God does?" Or, you can say, "Life does?" You could say, "Life is naturally chaotic?" But, orderly chaos is what the spiritual aspirate creates, or we could say, if you like, creates in oneness with God, or the Higher Principle.
There is a Logic-mindless, with intent logical-mind does not discern, for the Mind is linked to the Universe, while the mind is particularized and focuses on self, with its interests and concerns. Even the altruism of the self is still of the self, and even this needs to die into a larger Embrace.
In my life I have, in conscious and unconscious ways, created intentional chaos. This is intentional, whether conscious or unconscious, for Mind, or Spirit, is working at both levels.
I like to speak of orderly chaos as arising from the True Self, at one with God. The True Self knows most what we need, while the self does not. The self likes to try to create a life as free as possible of chaos; the Self creates chaos for our good. The Self relishes orderly confusion.
After growing on the Path a while, you might notice yourself consciously enjoying working with confusion, and possibly more than with clarity. Yet, in Spirit, and true orderly confusion, there is a clarity that illumines the confusion. One has to experience this directly to know what I mean here. At some point confusion and clarity are "seen" as One.
The Mind knows what you need, while mind does not. As you become surrendered to Spirit, the True Self, or the Mind, begins to lead the whole self-system. You will notice, in odd and paradoxical ways, even to your surprise, that a higher Goal within you is being worked out, a more true Life, and your own process of realizing divinity - through your choices that lead to orderly chaos. Here, again, there is a unity between Divine Providence and the choices of your True Self, for in spirit God and the soul are working in consort - at times in contrast to your conscious mind.
This chaos is to clarify your intents, distinguish your goals, simplify your life, mark your priorities, and decide your investments of energy in situations and persons. So, this chaos is intentional, and is part of what we could call the purgative work.
You are wanting to live more closely to your deepest Desire. Your ego does not want to suffer to do that, however. So, the True Self works to bypass the ego and leads to decisions and changes that promote your deepest well-being. That is orderly chaos.
So, look at decisions you have made in the last few months or year, even years. As you look back, can you see any orderly chaos, any context you created to help further your devotion to realizing wholeness in True Love?
Now, let me warn you, please. Beware of traditional approaches to therapy and psychology, when you are on a Path. One danger of much psychology is the assumption that reduction of chaos is in your best interest. Follow much psychology and you might well just do the opposite of what your True Self is attempting for your long-term Good and life to the glory of Spirit. While psychological therapies have a place, and sometimes persons need that work prior to getting on with the Path, still, such counseling often has little idea of the rationale of Spirit or ways of the Path. Rather, if you are devoted to a Path, better to find a Spiritual Director or Teacher, or both, to work with you. A good Spiritual Director or Teacher will support your creation of orderly chaos and help in discerning the question, "Where is God in all this?" Indeed, a good Teacher will push you into the chaos, through creation of confusion that helps you wake up.
The Gospel notes, at one point, that Jesus intentionally set out to go to Jerusalem. That was like putting his head in the mouth of an untrained, wild lion. He intentionally walked into the Passion. He created the chaos, thereby, as much as anyone else, and the ordered Purpose is seen when we see the whole Passion-Resurrection narrative. This is orderly chaos. Orderly chaos always has an integrative and life-giving, devotion clarifying and establishing, intent.
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*Material on the Greek god "Chaos" is from www.allabouthistory.org .
*Charitable contributions would be appreciated to assist Brian in continuing his ministry. For contributions, contact Brian at barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*Brian's book of spiritual love poetry, An Ache for Union: Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major booksellers or the Cokesbury on-line store, cokesbury.com .
*Brian K. Wilcox, a United Methodist Pastor, lives in Southwest Florida. He is a vowed member of Greenbough House of Prayer, a contemplative Christian community in South Georgia. He lives a contemplative life and seeks to inspire others to enjoy a more intimate relationship with Christ. Brian advocates for a spiritually-focused, experiential Christianity and renewal of the Church through addressing the deeper spiritual needs and longings of persons.
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